Oct 29, 20243 min read

AN ACT OF KINDNESS

“Share your own story of an act of kindness” is the idea of the room 24 - my most favorite zone in one exhibition that I had a chance to visit.

I still remember I spent quite some time to see, read and feel all meaningful contents shared by visitors. Some relate to family members, some for strangers and some for themselves. My mind is soothed and nourished with full of emotions and imagination during the experience (and that's why I love to come to exhibitions, esp. at the quiet times lots).

From that moment till now, it has been 5 years and I still feel grateful and treasure all experiences that I had - things that widened my perspectives, allowed me to see the world bigger than it should be and most importantly, understood further the meaning of kindness.

I do believe “being kind to yourself” is the biggest challenges after all.

Because it requires lots of time & energy within, forces you to face with your darkness, vulnerability, deals with the internal conflicts, questions your belief system, redefines your core values - what we should hold on? What we should leave behind? This complex process could bring us down in just minutes, make us feel exhausted, anxious and doubt on yourself and then come to the hardest part - find ways to climb up while keep doing everyday multi-responsibilities.

One of my key practices (I learnt it by heart & tears after all things I have been through) is to keep my mind quiet as much as possible by eliminating all external voices - both supportive & negative ones, avoiding unnecessary conversations as many as possible and holding myself on ground constantly. I save my energy and time to work on myself - only me and myself without any disruption. I wanna know how could I have that kind of thoughts/belief/behaviors? Where do they come from? What are the root causes? What does the situation mean to me? What should I think and do to move forward?

I patiently find all answers until they reflect me most - no compromise, no self-manipulation. This is when I see the empathy for all mistakes I made or the unexpected things came to me, see the sunlight from the darkness, see myself through the mirror and see the results of an act of being kind to myself.

I used to be pretty sure about my inner strength that nothing can pull me down. However, I have to accept that mindset sometimes put me into “take-it-for-granted” situations. People (consciously and unconsciously) think that they can do things by their own terms and I will find ways to adapt accordingly as always. It’s not wrong but not ok as well. Then I do realize that “being kind to yourself” process needs to be activated in some cases. Instead of “trying to be kind all the times and then struggling to find ways to fix the situations”, I need to set a clear boundary to protect myself from the daily messes, verbally and non-verbally.

Recently, I heard many stories about people are struggling with their mental health - those who are also Millennials - some successful, some good looking, some look like “have everything”, some seem “have nothing”. Every single time I listen to a story, I feel a little bit sad and wanna hug them wholeheartedly because I somehow understand what they are going through and how hard and painful the process is to see the lights at the end of the tunnel.

It’s easier to be kind to the others, even with strangers than yourself. To the others, we see the results shortly and they motivates us to do more. To yourself, all you see at first are the darkness, the vulnerability, the failure, the mistakes, the doubtfulness and they all make us feel scared, painful and lost. And that’s why people usually try to ignore their inner voices which can trigger so many things that they try to hide through the years.